School is Still Cool

So, this year I gave up Twitter for lent and believe me it’s been quite a sacrifice. I’m no longer getting my current affairs update from the source. It’s like I’m back in the 90’s. I mean I had to read about our former president floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee from an online news source! However, one thing I’m glad I didn’t miss were the videos from the UKZN 2019 graduation ceremony! What a treat! I literally cried like I lost the cat that I’ve never owned. It was just so beautiful to watch the pride of parents oozing from their sweat glands. It made me realize just how much our parents sacrifice to give us that priceless opportunity: education.

It’s when I look back at my own life that I truly appreciate these sacrifices. All my mother wanted was to get us into multiracial schools and get a good education and I was the first to make it in my family: Class One in Empangeni Preparatory School. However, there was a little problem. Because the school fees were so expensive for my parents, my mom had to be very creative in making ends meet for everything else, like sewing my school uniform. For the life of her, my poor mother could never quite get the right blue material of the formal school uniform so mine was always either too dark or too bright…and I hated it! I stuck out like a saw thumb – a seven-year-old’s worse nightmare! Anyway, after endless complaining, my mom trekked to the school’s second-hand shop and got me the formal school uniform. I was finally wearing the correct shade of blue! Problem was, I only had one of these. I wore it so much that it quickly faded, and I was back to being the sore thumb! Being a kid, I never really appreciated the bigger picture, that my mom was, in all her power, pushing to get me an education she never had!

High school was a little better. I got a partial bursary in grade 8 for being named Head Girl in grade 7 and so my parents could at least afford me decent uniform. There were many other sacrifices that my parents continued to make until I finally graduated, first for undergrad and then my honours. There has been nothing more liberating than getting these qualifications. It’s given me opportunities that my parents could have never dreamed of, taken me to places that I could have never imagined; me, a young black girl from eNgwelezane Township!

Sure, the education landscape is changing and so are career choices but one thing that remains is that knowledge is power and education is still the key to success. So, continue investing in yourself; sign up for that course you’ve been mulling over, go back to school, upgrade your matric results, it’s never too late. More importantly, remember the sacrifices that were made by those who came before you. Sacrifices that have given you opportunities that some may never live to see. Don’t take that for granted.

My relationship with airports and other life hacks (Part one)

The alarm goes off and my friend, Nswana and I reluctantly peel ourselves out of bed. We’re in a hotel in Copacabana on our last day of what has been a pretty awesome trip in Brazil. The time is 4:30am and we have a 06h50 flight to São Paulo from Rio. The hotel is about 30 minutes from the airport and being the punctual people we are, we’ve planned everything down to the last second:

• Pack everything the night before
• Settle our bill
• Need to be out of the hotel by 05h15
• Arrive at the airport at 05h45 latest
• Check-in
• Take off at 06h50
• Arrive in São Paulo Paulo at 08h10
• Kill time for a couple of hours in the city
• Be back at the airport two hours ahead of 18h30 flight back to South Africa

By 05h05 we’re done and we head down to the hotel lobby where Phumla (who was part of our travel group of 10 and was staying not too far from us - equally punctual) is already waiting for us. By 05h15 the three of us are in an Uber on our way to the airport. We get to Galeao A.C Jobim International and try check our bags in. The lady at the counter does not know English. Nada. She gets one of her colleagues to assist us. He explains that it’s way too early to check-in our luggage. We have plans to explore the city of São Paulo and pulling these big bags around is just not going to cut it. We walk around the airport trying to find a place where we can leave our bags. We see signs that lead to the info desk, follow them and we find it, by a huge Father Christmas with a sleigh, Christmas display. We approach the ladies and in our best Portuguese (by this time I’m convinced I’m fluent in Portuguese – Nswana keeps hating and tells me to quit lying to myself) we ask “Você fala Inglês (Do you speak English)?” This has been our litmus test throughout the trip. A negative response means the conversation is over. Nothing to see here. Move right along.

Anyway, luck is on our side and one of the ladies understands English. Between her broken English and our broken Portuguese, she manages to get someone to take us to the designated baggage storage place. We get there, put our bags in the lockers, and get our keys and pay. And we’re off! Three responsible, punctual African girls set to take on São Paulo in under 4 hours. I mean, what could go wrong?

There aren’t any Ubers at the airport so we catch a cab. Our cab driver is the friendliest middle-aged lady and she’s just going on in Portuguese telling us about São Paulo. Phumla and Nswana are talking back in rudimentary English and me, in what I have convinced myself, is decent Portuguese (ignoring Nswan’a eye roll and silent plea for me to “stop that”).

Ok. I’m going to have to hit the fast forward button real quick here!

The time is now around 2pm and we decide we’re actually good, let’s head back to the airport. I pull up the itinerary on my phone to double check the name of the airport and I punch it in on my Uber app: Guarulhos International. Our Uber arrives and we hop in. We arrive at the airport way ahead of schedule. So much time on our hands – look at us! Now to find the baggage storage place.  So we start searching…and searching…and searching. The airport is HUGE and NOTHING looks familiar! Nobody speaks English. Time is running out, we’re going in circles and anxiety is at an all-time high! After running around for what feels like an hour, we see a sign written “Airport Services”. We head to the little office there and find a lady sitting behind a computer and guess what, she speaks ZERO English. We’re trying to explain our situation to her using Phumla’s Google Translate. We’re running out of time so we’re talking in brief phrases with the most important one being; “Baggage storage by a big Christmas display”. She gets someone on the phone and Nswana speaks to her. The person on the other end of the phone speaks perfect English, small win – big thumbs up. Nswana hangs up, sighs, looks at us and says, “Guys, we’re at the wrong airport”. We were at Guarulhos International, the airport we would be departing to SA from, however, earlier that morning, we had landed at  Galeao A.C Jobim International - clearly not the same airport. Our eyes pop out the way a cartoon character’s would if we were in an animated movie. The lady behind the computer explains to us (read as: types on her Google Translate) that we can catch a bus to the other airport. It should take us 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back – problem is, it is now peak hour traffic. We look at each other and run out of that office. We get to the bus stop and then realize it only leaves on the hour. Time is not a luxury so we decide to take a taxi which is ridiculously expensive but it’s either we pay that or miss our flight back home. So we pay.

We get to the other airport and find the baggage storage place in less than 2 minutes! It was that easy to find! We grab our bags and rush out to get a cab back to the other airport which we would be departing from. Nobody is talking in the car, we’re sweating bullets and dying from anxiety as we keep checking the time and the meter reader because funds are low. Important to mention is that we don’t have wifi nor data so this whole time so we aren’t able to communicate with the rest of our travel group, who had taken different flights to São Paulo to us. Traffic is pretty hectic because: Murphy’s Law. 

We finally get to the airport but cutting it super fine so we run to the boarding gates, determined not to miss our flight back to SA. Nswana’s phone beeps as it miraculously connects to the Starbucks wifi. It’s a message from one of the girls in our broader travel group. She (Nswana) reads it, looks at us and says; “Guys, our flight has been delayed by four hours!”

Mindfulness

So your favourite aunt from the homelands is in town for two days and has set one day aside to spend with you. In a normal, uneventful week, this would be great news! But in this particular week, you have a major exam the day after the day she would like to spend time with you. You contemplate turning her down but the other, other voice in your head is screaming #YOLO and the ninja in you decides to set some time aside for Aunt May. You can do this! #slay

So now you're out with your aunt but can barley concentrate on anything she's saying because your guilty conscience is now working over time. You're too anxious to enjoy your meal and you're too anxious to be attentive. This time the Chief Director of the voices in your head is now louder than the others and like a stuck record repeats: "you should be studying, you should be studying, you should be st..."

Four hours later you're back home. Empty stomach and anxiety on high. The time spent away from the books should've been enjoyable but instead you decided to spend it fretting. So you've essentially lost four hours of studying for nothing. You have wasted time.

A study(1) by psychologists Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert of Harvard University showed that about 47% of our waking hours is spent thinking about things other than what we are currently doing, resulting in unhappiness. You know that feeling when hours have passed and you question what you have achieved in that time? #dololo

In efforts to change this, halfway through last year I decided to challenge myself and perfect (read as practice) the art of mindfulness(2): being truly present in the moment. I downloaded apps, meditated, read articles, prayed, wrote things down and I think I did well...for all of 5 days! Then it was back to regular programming.

The real test came in August 2016. I was busy living my best life whilst holidaying in Scandinavia when a text came through from one of my colleagues saying: "We made the shortlist for the NT deal! We're presenting the pitch at the beauty parade(3) next Friday." Now this was great news except for one thing; I had an exam on that very day. Don't ask why I was on holiday a week before a major exam - let's just call it good planning and preparation. But now there was this curveball that my airtight plan had not accounted for. Anyway, I changed gears and went into solution mode: went online, changed my exam day to the following day and fortunately got a spot for Saturday morning and that was that.

I spent the first half of the following week studying like my life depended on it and then spent Thursday on and off conference calls with my boss and the rest of the team, prepping.

Friday came and we made our way to Pretoria, stopped at a slick bistro for coffee and did a last minute run-through. We presented and it went well (so well we won the mandate - yay), drove back to Johannesburg and I still went out for breakfast with my then boss. Now this had to happen because I only see him about four times a year since he is based in the U.K. But you know what? Not once did I think of my exam until I told him during breakfast. Then he started telling me about Mindfulness (coincidence?) and how him and his wife instill it in their  home with their four children. It then dawned on me that that entire week I had subconsciously practiced mindfulness and it worked out in my favour! I was fully present in every situation that I was in, and the results were involvement in the biggest deal of my career and a first class pass for my exam.

It's still touch and go as I fall off the rail track from time to time but to as far an extent as possible, I do try exercise my version of mindfulness by:

1. Being present, and I mean, fully present in the now
2. Finishing what I started before moving on to the next thing
3. When in a social context - putting my phone away!
4. Enjoying good food/ "taking it all in"
5. Not doing "break things" during study time - and not thinking about studying during breaks
6. If it's out of my control, I let it go



Sources and stuff:

(1). http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/11/wandering-mind-not-a-happy-mind/

(2). Mindfulness: a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

(3).  Beauty Parade: competitive bidding where multiple banks present to a potential client

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

In my day to day life I'm a planner. I do lists, I schedule things well ahead of time. I arrive on time. I'm a routine person. My alarm goes off at 04h39 every morning and I officially get out of bed at 04h50 (I snooze my alarm for 11min, for control). I do gym. Go to work. Come back home. Fix a quick supper. Pack clothes for the next day. Watch an hour of tv, max. Read/study/write. Sleep...and repeat.

With such a stringent structure you'd think I have my whole life figured out. I don't. So when people ask me that infamous "where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?" question, I sweat small bullets, then fumble for an acceptable answer that will leave the other party impressed.

The truth is, in 10 years time I see myself...getting dressed.

I've never sat down and mapped out my 10 year plan. All I know is that I just want to be happy and I want to be a good example to young girls who look like me. And...world peace *straightens tiara*. Lame I know, but that's the best I got!

I really admire people who have that futuristic vision but I, personally, find it limiting. I take each year as it comes. At most I'll think two years ahead, then things start  getting a little blurry. I mean the world is so dynamic! Am I really sitting down and thinking about "T + 10 years" me? No. Ten years ago I owned a Nokia. NOKIA!! "NOKIA?" Some may ask. "What is that? Does it come in chocolate? Do I have to walk it every day? Is it potty trained? Can I wear it more than once and post it on Instagram?"
Ten years ago, (my) statistics show that every "Social Media Influencer" in South Africa was unemployed. Yes grandpa, that is a real job.
Ten years ago, Donald Trump was three years into telling people "You're fired". And now he's hired...

Ten years ago I had some of the best days of my life! I established some of my most precious friendships. I styled my hair into a Mohawk and owned a pair of green and a pair of red jeans. Although I was pretty focused academically, I probably didn't think of the future as much as I should've. I ran my own race and kept in my own lane. In a taxi. Probably after standing in a long queue at Bree or Noord and consequently being hit on by the guy selling cigarettes, boiled eggs and airtime. I was focused on getting from A to B and B was tomorrow. And tomorrow it would be the next day.
I guess not much has changed in that aspect with regards to the thinking process. I know what I need to do today for a better tomorrow. Literally tomorrow and the near future. But in 10 years' time? I'll be getting dressed, ready to start my day.

Shallow view on a skin deep thing

Disclaimer: it goes without my saying: Strictly my views - don't quote me...unless you really want to quote me.


So (South African) Twitter was in a frenzy recently because of one name: "Tasneem Motara", the beautiful MP who was part of the SONA (State of the Nation Address) Debate. I swear I learnt all about Tasneem faster than I got up to speed on our (back then) little known, newly appointed Minister of Finance, David van Rooyen. Side note: I'm still struggling to reconcile his name with his actual physical appearance, but "what's in a name", right?

Anyway, the question is, would  people have taken note if Tasneem wasn't beautiful? Probably not - well she wouldn't have been #trending at least.

I know that most women would probably view this as a problem. I beg to differ. *runs and hides away from staunch feminists*

See, I don't think that's the problem. I don't see how it's a problem. Humans are visual creatures. Men even more so. We see before we hear. That's just the way we're built. I use to have a problem with that, being seen before being heard, but that's not in your control. The downside is that good looking people just have to work harder to prove that they're "not just a pretty face". I mean how else did that saying come about? I've never heard someone say "she's not just an intelligent brain" and rarely do I hear people say "AND shes beautiful" it's always " AND she's smart"...because the beauty is established way before. Equally so, why is "beauty and brains" a thing? Why never "character and brains"? ...please draw me a picture of character while you think of that one.

If someone doesn't know you, they will judge you by the way you look and more often than not, subconsciously draw the conclusion on where you rank on the intellect scale. The more beautiful or the more "narcissistic" you are, the less smart they think you are. Like this one friend of mine for example. People always think he's just a pretty boy who's obsessed about his body, dress code and girls but that boy is probably one of the smartest people I've ever met. I've once told someone how smart he is and that person responded "oh, he doesn't look it". How does smart look like exactly? Oh wait, thick glasses, crooked teeth, bad hair and  a pimply face. Cause let's face it, the typical nerd in all those cartoons we grew up watching was never 1.8m tall and hella good looking....

In his book "Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful" (2011), economist Daniel Hamermesh reveals research that shows attractive people get paid more, are hired sooner, promoted faster and get more company perks.

But nonetheless, back to Tasneem. She's a breathe of fresh air and that's why everybody took note. Humans like pretty things. And good looking people are usually overtly confident. Makes people want to be like her/him. Now imagine being good looking AND smart. Then you are basically ruler of the universe. You've won in this life thing.

The London experience

It was the 1st of November on a cold London morning when I landed at Heathrow with my driver waiting for me with a placard with my name and company name on it. "Mamma I made it" the little voice in my head screamed, not because I had finally arrived in London to work at the head office of one of the biggest banks in the world but rather because all my life all I've ever wanted was for someone to wait for me at the airport with a placard with my name on it!

After an hour on the road mainly because of getting lost, we finally managed to find my temporary home, a cute apartment in the heart of Canary Wharf. And so my London experience began...

Working in London...

My first day at work was a bit of a blur. I spent half my time trying to figure out what the hell was going on and the other half pretending I knew. Everything was 10 times faster. I was now in an office of close to 8000 employees from our South African office which has about 200. There was such a buzz and occasional announcements made from one squawk box or another and everything being due yesterday, phones ringing off the hook, people sitting in front of multiple screens and a funny looking phone which I later learnt is actually called a dealerboard.

I worked with the most amazing team comprising of Russians, Turks, French, Bulgarians and of course Brits. I also learnt that yes in Russian is "Da" which sounds more like "nda" when said out loud (hmmm, Tshivenda much?)

Dating in London...

Ok I'm just going to come straight out with it because my colleagues have already judged me to no end...

I used Tinder to kick start my dating life...*as my street cred drops*

I managed to secure two Tinder dates, one with what turned out to be an unemployed Spanish guy (whose Tinder pic clearly failed to show his one missing tooth). The other was an Italian hairdresser...he had a great personality (?) *clears throat*

Anyway...I did manage to go on two other dates with guys I met in more conventional ways. Ends there. *hides*

Now this is the thing ladies, dating in London is expensive! (...or maybe it was just my luck). Prepare to spend money on a return trip and also on going Dutch when the bill comes. I'm sure you'd appreciate that after 5 or so dates and the exchange rate, I had to humbly turn in my resignation and step down from my position as serial dater. 

Shopping in London...

...is an absolute dream! I must've shopped almost every weekend. When the likes of H&M, Bershka, Forever 21, Zara, Top Shop and River Island become your pocket friendly shops, the temptation just becomes too strong to resist!

Partying in London...

...is even better than the shopping. Barring the ice cold weather, I had the most amazing times going out. Shorditch and Soho are definitely my uncontested faves!

That miserable London weather...

...will never stop you from doing stuff. No matter how cold, if I wasn't visiting friends or eating out I was at a market or museum. Londoners never let the lack of sun steal their fun!

Lastly, traveling in and around Europe is so cheap! Makes you realize how much we are over charged in South African. Bleh...

And that's my London experience in a nutshell, quite an amazing and humbling one at that. 

Now to work on that Wall Street dream...

Learning to think

You've done all the preps, you know the textbook back to front, up down, right to left...then you get into the exam room and none of the questions look anything like the 1000 past papers you've done. Your confidence goes into a coma and your guaranteed pass slips with. 

Sounds familiar? Well I've experienced this a couple of times in my life and over the years I've grown to understand the root of this problem, rote learning. 

The problem I have with rote learning is that it fixes your thinking to what you've only memorised so once the plot is twisted, you're completely thrown off. Yes, there are some instances where it's pure medicine, like basic education maths (remember how we were taught time tables?) but I think schools and sometimes even parents get it all wrong! They focus on getting the child to simply memorise rules and such when what is more important is understanding the thinking behind the rules. 

I have recently been involved in two organisations that are trying to change this, Junior Achievement SA and ENTACTUS (google).

On my first project with JA, we visited a school in Alexander, Johannesburg where we taught kids about money. How to save, make deposits, withdrawals and general financial decisions. We played a game similar to Monopoly but instead of being property based, it was financial, involving bank transactions and business acumen. At the end, the group that made the most money from their transactions won. With my group, instead of simply pushing them to make as much money as possible I would ask them to justify each and every transaction. Want to buy a business? Why? Not planning to run an ad campaign? Why? Are you going to spend or reinvest the profits? Why? 

With ENACTUS, I sat on the judging panel for their nationals. Here a representative team from different higher learning institutions from around the country would present two to three projects (existing small business) they have adopted. They would then have to take the audience through how they have improved the business economically and socially. Let's just say, I was the Simon Cowell/ Randal Abrahams of the panel because I was not going easy on the questions. Don't get me wrong, I was not "the mean judge", I just wanted the contestants to THINK instead of regurgitating what they had rehearsed/advised by their mentors. Overall it was an amazing experience with a group of smart, forward-thinking students. This type of involvement will definitely make their transition into the working world that much smoother. 

So guess what I'm trying to say is...

1. We need to encourage kids to think   and question. I find that in traditional black homes, questioning is not encouraged and this feeds through to the child's learning behaviour and ultimately the kind of adult they become. This separates leaders from followers. 

2. We need to make learning more interactive. We need more active learning.

If we can get this right, then half the job is done.