Mindfulness

So your favourite aunt from the homelands is in town for two days and has set one day aside to spend with you. In a normal, uneventful week, this would be great news! But in this particular week, you have a major exam the day after the day she would like to spend time with you. You contemplate turning her down but the other, other voice in your head is screaming #YOLO and the ninja in you decides to set some time aside for Aunt May. You can do this! #slay

So now you're out with your aunt but can barley concentrate on anything she's saying because your guilty conscience is now working over time. You're too anxious to enjoy your meal and you're too anxious to be attentive. This time the Chief Director of the voices in your head is now louder than the others and like a stuck record repeats: "you should be studying, you should be studying, you should be st..."

Four hours later you're back home. Empty stomach and anxiety on high. The time spent away from the books should've been enjoyable but instead you decided to spend it fretting. So you've essentially lost four hours of studying for nothing. You have wasted time.

A study(1) by psychologists Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert of Harvard University showed that about 47% of our waking hours is spent thinking about things other than what we are currently doing, resulting in unhappiness. You know that feeling when hours have passed and you question what you have achieved in that time? #dololo

In efforts to change this, halfway through last year I decided to challenge myself and perfect (read as practice) the art of mindfulness(2): being truly present in the moment. I downloaded apps, meditated, read articles, prayed, wrote things down and I think I did well...for all of 5 days! Then it was back to regular programming.

The real test came in August 2016. I was busy living my best life whilst holidaying in Scandinavia when a text came through from one of my colleagues saying: "We made the shortlist for the NT deal! We're presenting the pitch at the beauty parade(3) next Friday." Now this was great news except for one thing; I had an exam on that very day. Don't ask why I was on holiday a week before a major exam - let's just call it good planning and preparation. But now there was this curveball that my airtight plan had not accounted for. Anyway, I changed gears and went into solution mode: went online, changed my exam day to the following day and fortunately got a spot for Saturday morning and that was that.

I spent the first half of the following week studying like my life depended on it and then spent Thursday on and off conference calls with my boss and the rest of the team, prepping.

Friday came and we made our way to Pretoria, stopped at a slick bistro for coffee and did a last minute run-through. We presented and it went well (so well we won the mandate - yay), drove back to Johannesburg and I still went out for breakfast with my then boss. Now this had to happen because I only see him about four times a year since he is based in the U.K. But you know what? Not once did I think of my exam until I told him during breakfast. Then he started telling me about Mindfulness (coincidence?) and how him and his wife instill it in their  home with their four children. It then dawned on me that that entire week I had subconsciously practiced mindfulness and it worked out in my favour! I was fully present in every situation that I was in, and the results were involvement in the biggest deal of my career and a first class pass for my exam.

It's still touch and go as I fall off the rail track from time to time but to as far an extent as possible, I do try exercise my version of mindfulness by:

1. Being present, and I mean, fully present in the now
2. Finishing what I started before moving on to the next thing
3. When in a social context - putting my phone away!
4. Enjoying good food/ "taking it all in"
5. Not doing "break things" during study time - and not thinking about studying during breaks
6. If it's out of my control, I let it go



Sources and stuff:

(1). http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/11/wandering-mind-not-a-happy-mind/

(2). Mindfulness: a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

(3).  Beauty Parade: competitive bidding where multiple banks present to a potential client

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

In my day to day life I'm a planner. I do lists, I schedule things well ahead of time. I arrive on time. I'm a routine person. My alarm goes off at 04h39 every morning and I officially get out of bed at 04h50 (I snooze my alarm for 11min, for control). I do gym. Go to work. Come back home. Fix a quick supper. Pack clothes for the next day. Watch an hour of tv, max. Read/study/write. Sleep...and repeat.

With such a stringent structure you'd think I have my whole life figured out. I don't. So when people ask me that infamous "where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?" question, I sweat small bullets, then fumble for an acceptable answer that will leave the other party impressed.

The truth is, in 10 years time I see myself...getting dressed.

I've never sat down and mapped out my 10 year plan. All I know is that I just want to be happy and I want to be a good example to young girls who look like me. And...world peace *straightens tiara*. Lame I know, but that's the best I got!

I really admire people who have that futuristic vision but I, personally, find it limiting. I take each year as it comes. At most I'll think two years ahead, then things start  getting a little blurry. I mean the world is so dynamic! Am I really sitting down and thinking about "T + 10 years" me? No. Ten years ago I owned a Nokia. NOKIA!! "NOKIA?" Some may ask. "What is that? Does it come in chocolate? Do I have to walk it every day? Is it potty trained? Can I wear it more than once and post it on Instagram?"
Ten years ago, (my) statistics show that every "Social Media Influencer" in South Africa was unemployed. Yes grandpa, that is a real job.
Ten years ago, Donald Trump was three years into telling people "You're fired". And now he's hired...

Ten years ago I had some of the best days of my life! I established some of my most precious friendships. I styled my hair into a Mohawk and owned a pair of green and a pair of red jeans. Although I was pretty focused academically, I probably didn't think of the future as much as I should've. I ran my own race and kept in my own lane. In a taxi. Probably after standing in a long queue at Bree or Noord and consequently being hit on by the guy selling cigarettes, boiled eggs and airtime. I was focused on getting from A to B and B was tomorrow. And tomorrow it would be the next day.
I guess not much has changed in that aspect with regards to the thinking process. I know what I need to do today for a better tomorrow. Literally tomorrow and the near future. But in 10 years' time? I'll be getting dressed, ready to start my day.

Shallow view on a skin deep thing

Disclaimer: it goes without my saying: Strictly my views - don't quote me...unless you really want to quote me.


So (South African) Twitter was in a frenzy recently because of one name: "Tasneem Motara", the beautiful MP who was part of the SONA (State of the Nation Address) Debate. I swear I learnt all about Tasneem faster than I got up to speed on our (back then) little known, newly appointed Minister of Finance, David van Rooyen. Side note: I'm still struggling to reconcile his name with his actual physical appearance, but "what's in a name", right?

Anyway, the question is, would  people have taken note if Tasneem wasn't beautiful? Probably not - well she wouldn't have been #trending at least.

I know that most women would probably view this as a problem. I beg to differ. *runs and hides away from staunch feminists*

See, I don't think that's the problem. I don't see how it's a problem. Humans are visual creatures. Men even more so. We see before we hear. That's just the way we're built. I use to have a problem with that, being seen before being heard, but that's not in your control. The downside is that good looking people just have to work harder to prove that they're "not just a pretty face". I mean how else did that saying come about? I've never heard someone say "she's not just an intelligent brain" and rarely do I hear people say "AND shes beautiful" it's always " AND she's smart"...because the beauty is established way before. Equally so, why is "beauty and brains" a thing? Why never "character and brains"? ...please draw me a picture of character while you think of that one.

If someone doesn't know you, they will judge you by the way you look and more often than not, subconsciously draw the conclusion on where you rank on the intellect scale. The more beautiful or the more "narcissistic" you are, the less smart they think you are. Like this one friend of mine for example. People always think he's just a pretty boy who's obsessed about his body, dress code and girls but that boy is probably one of the smartest people I've ever met. I've once told someone how smart he is and that person responded "oh, he doesn't look it". How does smart look like exactly? Oh wait, thick glasses, crooked teeth, bad hair and  a pimply face. Cause let's face it, the typical nerd in all those cartoons we grew up watching was never 1.8m tall and hella good looking....

In his book "Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful" (2011), economist Daniel Hamermesh reveals research that shows attractive people get paid more, are hired sooner, promoted faster and get more company perks.

But nonetheless, back to Tasneem. She's a breathe of fresh air and that's why everybody took note. Humans like pretty things. And good looking people are usually overtly confident. Makes people want to be like her/him. Now imagine being good looking AND smart. Then you are basically ruler of the universe. You've won in this life thing.

The London experience

It was the 1st of November on a cold London morning when I landed at Heathrow with my driver waiting for me with a placard with my name and company name on it. "Mamma I made it" the little voice in my head screamed, not because I had finally arrived in London to work at the head office of one of the biggest banks in the world but rather because all my life all I've ever wanted was for someone to wait for me at the airport with a placard with my name on it!

After an hour on the road mainly because of getting lost, we finally managed to find my temporary home, a cute apartment in the heart of Canary Wharf. And so my London experience began...

Working in London...

My first day at work was a bit of a blur. I spent half my time trying to figure out what the hell was going on and the other half pretending I knew. Everything was 10 times faster. I was now in an office of close to 8000 employees from our South African office which has about 200. There was such a buzz and occasional announcements made from one squawk box or another and everything being due yesterday, phones ringing off the hook, people sitting in front of multiple screens and a funny looking phone which I later learnt is actually called a dealerboard.

I worked with the most amazing team comprising of Russians, Turks, French, Bulgarians and of course Brits. I also learnt that yes in Russian is "Da" which sounds more like "nda" when said out loud (hmmm, Tshivenda much?)

Dating in London...

Ok I'm just going to come straight out with it because my colleagues have already judged me to no end...

I used Tinder to kick start my dating life...*as my street cred drops*

I managed to secure two Tinder dates, one with what turned out to be an unemployed Spanish guy (whose Tinder pic clearly failed to show his one missing tooth). The other was an Italian hairdresser...he had a great personality (?) *clears throat*

Anyway...I did manage to go on two other dates with guys I met in more conventional ways. Ends there. *hides*

Now this is the thing ladies, dating in London is expensive! (...or maybe it was just my luck). Prepare to spend money on a return trip and also on going Dutch when the bill comes. I'm sure you'd appreciate that after 5 or so dates and the exchange rate, I had to humbly turn in my resignation and step down from my position as serial dater. 

Shopping in London...

...is an absolute dream! I must've shopped almost every weekend. When the likes of H&M, Bershka, Forever 21, Zara, Top Shop and River Island become your pocket friendly shops, the temptation just becomes too strong to resist!

Partying in London...

...is even better than the shopping. Barring the ice cold weather, I had the most amazing times going out. Shorditch and Soho are definitely my uncontested faves!

That miserable London weather...

...will never stop you from doing stuff. No matter how cold, if I wasn't visiting friends or eating out I was at a market or museum. Londoners never let the lack of sun steal their fun!

Lastly, traveling in and around Europe is so cheap! Makes you realize how much we are over charged in South African. Bleh...

And that's my London experience in a nutshell, quite an amazing and humbling one at that. 

Now to work on that Wall Street dream...

Learning to think

You've done all the preps, you know the textbook back to front, up down, right to left...then you get into the exam room and none of the questions look anything like the 1000 past papers you've done. Your confidence goes into a coma and your guaranteed pass slips with. 

Sounds familiar? Well I've experienced this a couple of times in my life and over the years I've grown to understand the root of this problem, rote learning. 

The problem I have with rote learning is that it fixes your thinking to what you've only memorised so once the plot is twisted, you're completely thrown off. Yes, there are some instances where it's pure medicine, like basic education maths (remember how we were taught time tables?) but I think schools and sometimes even parents get it all wrong! They focus on getting the child to simply memorise rules and such when what is more important is understanding the thinking behind the rules. 

I have recently been involved in two organisations that are trying to change this, Junior Achievement SA and ENTACTUS (google).

On my first project with JA, we visited a school in Alexander, Johannesburg where we taught kids about money. How to save, make deposits, withdrawals and general financial decisions. We played a game similar to Monopoly but instead of being property based, it was financial, involving bank transactions and business acumen. At the end, the group that made the most money from their transactions won. With my group, instead of simply pushing them to make as much money as possible I would ask them to justify each and every transaction. Want to buy a business? Why? Not planning to run an ad campaign? Why? Are you going to spend or reinvest the profits? Why? 

With ENACTUS, I sat on the judging panel for their nationals. Here a representative team from different higher learning institutions from around the country would present two to three projects (existing small business) they have adopted. They would then have to take the audience through how they have improved the business economically and socially. Let's just say, I was the Simon Cowell/ Randal Abrahams of the panel because I was not going easy on the questions. Don't get me wrong, I was not "the mean judge", I just wanted the contestants to THINK instead of regurgitating what they had rehearsed/advised by their mentors. Overall it was an amazing experience with a group of smart, forward-thinking students. This type of involvement will definitely make their transition into the working world that much smoother. 

So guess what I'm trying to say is...

1. We need to encourage kids to think   and question. I find that in traditional black homes, questioning is not encouraged and this feeds through to the child's learning behaviour and ultimately the kind of adult they become. This separates leaders from followers. 

2. We need to make learning more interactive. We need more active learning.

If we can get this right, then half the job is done. 

Changing Faces: Investment Banker

Let’s cut to the chase, where are you from and what do you do?

I moved around a lot due to the nature of my parents work and them both having me when they were fairly young. So plenty of farm life with the grandparents growing up

I'm currently an Investment Banking Associate in mergers and acquisitions.

What did you study and are you using it at all in your current role?

I triple majored in international politics, economics and Chinese. In a strange way I get to use all three of them daily 

How long have you been working and what do you like most about it?

4 years – I love miss the financial freedom and working on interesting real life situations/ problems

Tell us about your work typical day.

Client calls, reviewing financial models, helping to draft transaction documents and doing market updates for "live" deals. Usually punctuated by a rushed lunch and pre-empted with a morning workout.

I tend to get in around 9am every day and depending on whether we're in the pitching or live stage of a deal I leave any time between 8pm - 5am

Yoh! So you must have a bed at the office by now! Ok, what tips would you give people wanting to your your line of work?

Make sure IB (Investment Banking) is what you want to get into - have an aptitude for people and numbers 

Prioritise 

Have an eagerness to learn 

What do you think is the biggest obstacle preventing women of colour from climbing the corporate ladder as fast as they should?

I think the hardest problem really is not having enough role models to look up to you who understand the plight of being a young black woman. Who understand that the industry is still white male dominated and it is intimidating at times 

Changing Faces: Environmental Specialist

Care to share a little about your childhood?

In my early childhood, I grew up in an informal township called Dambuza in Pietermaritzburg

with my Mom and Gran and other extended family members. My parents were not married

until I was 6 years old so I would visit my Dad during weekends. Later on when my parents got

married we moved to a place I would call a “black suburb” called West Gate in Pietermaritzburg

and then a flat in town where in both places we were sharing a place with other families. My

parents then managed to build their own house in Imbali a township in Pietermaritzburg where

they still reside today with my little brother.

I grew up in a very loving home, and was often outside playing with friends. Even though my

parents were not well off, I never felt that as I went to good public schools from a young age.

Although as an adult, I am now aware of the sacrifices that they had to make, to make sure I

receive a good education.


Now that you're all grown up, what is it that you do?

I am an Environmental Specialist for a construction company.


What did you study and are you using it at all in your current role?

I studied Geography and Environmental Management up to Honours level at UKZN and I am

currently doing an MSc at Wits University. Yes, I am using my degree in my line of work although

I do feel that my work is extremely dynamic and practical and I've learnt a lot more from

experience.


How long have you been working and what do you miss student life?
I have been working for 6 years now. I miss the long holidays, and not having the

responsibility of paying bills and being a bit more carefree.


Tell us about your work typical day.

A typical day for me is trying to fix a mess caused by a project engineer on the environment

from taking short-cuts on a project... My workload consists of identifying, assessing,

documenting and managing environmental aspects of the company in a way, which will allow

pro-active measurement and analysis to reduce, mitigate or where possible, eliminate

environmental impacts from construction. This includes aspects such as pollution control, waste

and water management, vegetation management and rehabilitation. I have to ensure that our

projects comply with environmental legislation, environmental authorisations and client

specifications. I train staff at all levels of the company on environmental issues and their

responsibilities in order to improve environmental performance. There is a good mix of work

out on site and back in the office.


Three tips on people keen to join your line of work?

You need to have a passion for nature and for preserving the environment. The job

can be very rewarding and fulfilling when you feel like you have positively

contributed to the well-being of the environment.

Environmental management/science is a broad and multi-disciplinary field, it will be

You also need to enjoy being outdoors as a lot of the work is out on site in remote

up to you to develop a skill-set for yourself in one of the many areas of the field that

catches your interest and specialize in it.

areas and different landscapes. You are often in safety boots, a hard hat and

reflective vest in sunny and dusty conditions


Do you encounter any challenges that specifically come with being a young black woman in 

corporate SA? 

The biggest challenge is working in a predominately male industry. There are still very few

women in the construction industry that have prominent positions and therefore there is a

notion and sense that you do not belong there. The language used in the industry can also

be very vulgar most of the time and as a woman you need to be tough and not take it too

personally. I have learnt though, that you teach people how to treat you and once they

understand how you want to be treated, you get more respect without having to

overcompensate for being a woman.


Taking what you've said in your previous answer into consideration. Can you give an example of one particular experience and how you think it could be countered/managed going forward?
I don’t think this challenge is unique to my industry I am glad that there are many women

empowerment programs and discourses taking place in society. But what good is it to empower

women without changing and shaping the mindset of our young fellow men. If we want to make

men take us more seriously as women we must stop having events that exclude them they need

to be an integral part of the change.