Reflections

The year 1993 in South Africa was the year before the country transferred to democracy. I lived with my mother in Eshowe where she spent the year at the main hospital in town as part of her nursing training. My older sister was in boarding school while my older brother lived back home in Empangeni with my dad. My mom rented a room in a big house in town which we shared with other people. The communal areas in the house were the kitchen and bathroom. In our room we had a bed and no TV. The radio, which was always tuned to Ukhozi fm, the biggest radio station in South Africa and very much Zulu was our sole mode of entertainment. I enjoyed listening to radio soap operas in the evenings during the week and on Sundays, a Sunday school show - I think it was called Ukhozi lo dado ( dado is an affectionate name for children in Zulu - the Zulu version of “bundles of joy” so to speak) or Lethani abantwana beze Kimi which means “bring the children to me” derived from the bible verse from the book of Matthew 19v14. 

While in Eshowe I attended pre-school at Eshowe Junior which at the time ran on a quota system that limited the number of Black learners sharing a class with the other races. School attendance was split in two halves; the morning session was only attended by whites students, a handful of Coloureds and Indians and a limited number of Blacks. School ran till 12pm for this group. The rest of the Blacks attended from 12pm. I was part of the second half and cannot even tell you what I did at home in the mornings while I waited for school to start but I can tell you I did feel rejected. I never understood why I wasn’t able to attend classes with the white kids. That year my mom had also started applying for schools as I was about to start first grade (class one as we called it back then) the following year. I bargained with God to at least allow me to be in a class with the whites who I viewed superior (exactly how apartheid South Africa wanted to frame our thinking). I didn’t leave it completely up to him though. I also spent months prepping for grade one interviews. I even learnt how to write the alphabet and my name. Turns out you’re not expected to know how to write when you start grade one. I learnt that at the interview.

In 1994 I started grade 1 at Empangeni Preparatory School (or simply "Prep" as it was referred to back home) and I was in the A class! My first teacher was Mrs Catteroll and I adored her! It was in Mrs Catteroll’s class that I made my very first two best friends. Lauren invited me to an exclusive tea party at her house. There was a dress code and everything. Only six girls were invited and I made the cut! I wore the dress I had worn at my pre-school graduation. It was floral with a layered bottom. Being invited to Lauren’s party gave me access to the white world and boy was it different to anything I had ever experienced! After Lauren, Lyndi, who ended up being my BFF for the rest of my primary school career, invited me to her 7th birthday party. After that I got pulled into the white circles which also extended to boys. Jason was the first boy to invite me to a birthday party. It was at their family home, a farm in Felixton in northern Kwa-Zulu Natal (KZN). Then next it was Nicholas G of the famous Empangeni family, the Granthams (those who know, know). Then it was Nicholas A whose mom ended up being my grade 7 teacher years later. And Julian, Gareth and Gavin and the list went on. Between grades 1 and 4, parties and social gatherings consisted of the same circles and I was always the only black - it was like small-scale kiddies version of  The O.C. / Laguna Beach (if the reference makes no sense to you, keep it moving, nothing to see here). Now I’m not sharing this because I want to boast about being the token black girl back then but because those years shifted my perspective and opened me to opportunities that a girl from the township could’ve never been exposed to. For one, most of my friends’ parents were friends with the teachers and I’d find myself hanging out a teachers’ house over the weekend when I’d spend the weekend at a friend’s house. There are a lot of advantages that come with a teacher knowing you outside the school environment and on a personal basis. When a teacher knows you personally, you are considered (read: privilege). 

Taken after a day of making customized t-shirt's at Lyndi's house

At my friends homes there was also reading time, a concept I found intriguing. So you’re telling me you have two TVs but have a period where they are off and everyone is reading? Ok, count me in! There was also extra murals. Everyone had to do something outside of school work so I joined hockey with Lyndi and Lauren. Then there were elite social clubs (I kid you - not)! In grade two Lyndi started the Collies club (she loved dogs). There were 7 of us - Lyndi, Lauren, Cara, Caitlin, Michelle and Karen and of course me, the BFF. Karen, who was Indian and I were the diversity candidates in the group (BEE ahead of it's time). The group was a sisterhood establishment and each month someone hosted us at their house. I refused to host. I lived in a four room house in the hood. And by four room I don’t mean bedrooms - there were only two of those, my parent’s and ours (my sister, brother and I). Once when it was Lyndi’s turn to host, it was a movie day! I will never forget this day because it was my first time ever at the cinema and the movie we watched was George of the Jungle. Lyndi’s mom volunteered to drive some of the girls there including me and so she came to the hood to pick me up. Our house had molded out cause of rain, not a pretty sight but what caught my friends’ attention was the fact that we had no gate (homes in my hood back then neither had fencing nor gates) and when one of them asked what happened to our gate, I said, very embarrassed, that it had been stolen.

A hockey player that also dabbled in netball & athletics

In 1996 Felixton College, a private school in northern KZN was established causing a mass exodus of Caucasians at my school. All my friends left and although I begged my mother to take me out of the school, our finances could not grant me the privilege. I remained friends with most of them till grade 7 regardless but somewhat now felt like an outsider again, just like how it was in pre-primary. But I made a new group of friends and life went on. I continued playing hockey and in grade 5, started after school drama lessons with Mr. Foxcroft. That man dedicated so much to honing my confidence and was never inappropriate with any of his learners. He was just a teacher passionate about his job. I remember Mr. Foxcroft entering me into the KZN leg of the National Eisteddfod of South Africa. I did a poem titled Tickled Pink which if I correctly recall, he wrote. On the day of the competition he picked me up and dropped me off at home (yes, we still did not have a gate) and I returned the favour by winning a gold certificate. Mr. Foxcroft not only honed my public speaking skills but as a writer of short stories and poems, he also inspired me to start writing which in turn fueled my love for reading. 

Mr. Foxcroft's drama class

The first library in my neighborhood, eNgwelezane was opened in 1998. This was revolutionary and a direct attack on the the "Blacks don't read" stereotype. I spent many weekends with my friends Andile and Lulu there. You could only take two books out at a time so I’d pick three books; read one there at the library and then take the other two home using my library card. My aunt, who is my dad’s oldest sister was a teacher and she bought a set of encyclopedias, Britannica Kids and the Poldy the scarecrow series which stayed at my grandparent's house which was not far from our home, so there was no guessing where the rest of my spare time went. I also begged my mom to buy a series called “You can Read” (it was an educational series, almost like Barney, but better!) and Andile, who lived a few blocks away, and I would watch it with great intensity, singing along to the nursery rhymes and learning new words.

In 1999 the world went crazy because we were nearing the end of a millennium. The term Y2K (standing for “year 2000”) was trending and everyone believed the world was ending yet panic buying was at an all time high! How you can think you’re going to die on one hand and yet stock up on groceries on the other is still quite mind boggling! Cellphones had just entered the scene and many believed that when we crossed over to the new year, phones would burst into flames because they wouldn’t recognize the year. It was basically Armageddon! But 1 January 2000 came and went and the world was still turning.

The year 2000 was a beautiful one for me. My baby brother, the most beautiful creation I'd ever seen, was born in May that year and at the end of the third term, I was named the very first black head girl of Empangeni Prep. I wasn’t an obvious choice because there were three other girls who people were convinced would take the title. How the system worked was that from terms 1 to 3, every grade 7 would have a chance to be a monitor. This allowed teachers to observe your leadership skills as you performed different duties at school including monitoring classes in different grades. Towards the end of the third term, grade 6s, 7s and teachers would then vote for the year’s perfects and head prefects. After my appointment, Mrs Rudling, the school principal at the time secretly told me that I was the first head girl to be voted for by every grade 6 pupil and every teacher (not sure what the numbers looked like with my grade 7 peers - *side eye*).

Check out my Head Girl note :) 

To put it in summary, primary school shaped my world forever. It introduced diversity and possibility into my life. I went through the initial process of self identification/discovery which would continue to evolve over time. I started dreaming many dreams! Dreams of traveling the world and owning a school and meeting Oprah - there were no boundaries to how big I could dream. I’m grateful for all the teachers who made me believe I could, from Mrs Catteroll in grade one, to Mrs Hemme and Mr Deary in grades 4 and 5 to Mrs Aboud and Mrs Hills in grade 7 and of course Mr Foxcroft and Mrs Rudling. If any of them ever come across this, I want them to know that I’m eternally grateful!